Attention all outbound "Israelis", you have been promoted to Ambassadors! (Political Satire Part 1)

It's raining in Tel Aviv.

The weather couldn't be worse. Storm after storm battered the poor nation, and pressure has risen among some local charities to draw more aid for starving "Israeli" children in ragged clothes. Other charitable organizations, the Knesset for example, spare no effort in bringing "donations" from kind-hearted, peace-loving international business owners like the lame, chic, new-entrepreneur-on-the-block kiddo Barack Obama.

The "Invincible Empire" is no more. The rain washed away the makeup.

The storm keeps getting stronger. And if the predictions of politeorologists are right, the illegal settlement is bound to have a long harsh icy period, extending for over 2 years.

That would devastate the charity-cored economy, and its politicians.

The settlement could no longer afford to invade its neighbors militarily.... Oooops... I meant to say charitarily.

"What to do? What to do?" became the question on everyone's mind in the settlement.

"What to do? What to do?" became the question on everyone's tongue in the echelons of power in the settlement, gathered in a critical meeting of ministers and sinisters.

"I have an idea!" one of them shouted.

"Let's invade the world with ziplomacy!"

"Ingenius!"

The sinisters applauded. The ministers hooted.

And they and their settlement were kicked and kicked into action.

‘How?' you might ask.

Easy. All they had to do was recruit a ziplomatic army.

The Army's goal: Invade za world wiz ziplomazy

The Army's education: makeup artistry

The Army's how-to: wherever the settlement is mentioned, defend it with some lipstick

...... and then the big day came

And the ministers and sinisters launched their settlement-strong outbound army.

And the president of sinisters declared in a historic speech, "Attention all outbound "Israelis", you have all been promoted to Ambassadors. Defend "Israel's" image around the world. We are in Grave Danger. The world doesn't believe us anymore... It is your mission to save us. Whenever "Israel" is mentioned anywhere in the world, tell them the truth! Tell them how we fight for democracy and freedom, how we are being assaulted day and night by terrorists...."

And the speech went on...but one short happy man fell asleep after the first three sentences.

Then he woke up to a shove by a security officer. "Get up. This is your ticket and passport. Get moving. You've got a job to do."

And to the airport he was whisked, and onto a plane he was dumped.

Outbound, of course, to a non-settlement nation, something he had never done before.

.... To Be continued